Maybe you’re in the same boat. Maybe you are in the same boat, but you’re not pretty happy. That’s OK. God can handle your hurt, and he has plans to provide for it. Either way, we single women stand in a different sort of place when it comes to relationships and men—and if we’re single and serving the Lord, it’s a place our society doesn’t even know how to categorize. But there is a lot we can learn from our current vantage point.

We can learn, if we’ll take our cue from Paul (a single man), writing to Timothy (another single man, as far as I know), to see people of the opposite sex as already members of our most important family: our spiritual family. They need to be honoured and valued for their role in the kingdom, treated with dignity and purity (1 Timothy 5:1–2). 

This means taking a non-self-interested approach to relationships: if we only get to know men as potentials, to be evaluated and either checkmarked or x-ed of our lists, then we won’t treat them as brothers. We need to relate to all people according to their value to God, not according to their potential role toward us. This might be especially hard in the highly charged arena of man-woman relationships, but it’s especially important there as well. The goal is to walk, not in the flesh, but in the Spirit.

In writing to Timothy, Paul specifically addressed young men and said they were to treat young women as sisters “with all purity.” This applies to us too: part of honouring men as our brothers is respecting how God made them and not deliberately provoking them or pushing their buttons. (I’m not talking about being attractive and feminine; attractive, feminine women are good for men, or so some of my very godly brothers—and nature, which God designed—tell me. I’m talking about watching out for the interests of others as much as we do our own, as Philippians 2:4 and other Scriptures urge us to do.)

But maybe the biggest need I see for man-woman relationships within the church is a need for respect. Guys need respect. They need honour. They need honour from women in a special way. Ladies, can I challenge you to go overboard in honouring the men in your life (even if you think they don’t entirely deserve it)? Verbally appreciate them; do things to make them look good; let them help you even when you don’t actually need it, especially in front of other people. Refrain from making “Aren’t men dumb and funny?” jokes at church – or at all. Make them food and smile at them a lot. Our society trashes guys all the time. Steer hard in the other direction.

 But don’t do it because it will make you a more attractive marriage partner. Even if this guy is a potential, he’s your brother first.

Marriage is temporary, for this world only. Father-daughter relationships are subsumed within the reality of God and his children (Matthew 23:9). But in Christ, brothers and sisters are forever. Make that relationship count.

Then, several weeks later in January, a city crew showed up unexpectedly one afternoon — literally minutes before our scheduled piano tuning; God’s sense of humour I’m sure! — to noisily grind up the tree stump into a pile of woodchips.  When those workers were done, we were left with a gaping hole and a pile of woodchips.  Was it our job to fill the hole?  Within an hour, another truck arrived to fill the hole and then, finally, the third crew that day arrived to lay top soil over the woodchips.  We think the job is now complete, but are curious as to whether they may yet return to lay new sod. (smile)  

The whole scenario reminded me of God’s work in our lives.  How often don’t we pray for change and long for an immediate response?  We sometimes wait months, even years, wondering whether God has truly heard our prayers.  In John 15:1-2, 6-7, Jesus says, ”I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit…If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ” 

Pruning our Heart
Like the tree being cut down and left in pieces, sometimes the Lord answers our prayers by first removing the branches that do not bear fruit and prunes our own hearts.  It can be painful and does not seem like the answer to our prayers.  But sure enough, over time, we start to see His hand unfold one step and then another.  It has been said that the times when God seems silent are often when He is doing the most work ‘behind-the-scenes.’  The unfruitful parts are destroyed and we are refined in His image that our Father may be glorified.

Not only that, but God has promised through Paul in Philippians 1:6 “that He who began a good work in you will carry it through to completion at the day of Christ Jesus.”  There is no uncertainty.  God will not leave us hanging, wondering whether He will finish the job or whether we need to to fix the problem in our own strength.  He will certainly carry it through to completion!

 Abide in His Love  

My sisters, this February, whether your heart is longing to see prayers answered for a change in your relationship, a loved one’s faith, your work situation, your children, or your own struggle again sin, trust that God hears your prayers and is at work in ways you don’t even know.  He may not answer in the time or way you think He should, but you can find joy in knowing He will answer in the perfect way for Him to be most glorified in you, as you set your eyes on the Father.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love.  These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” ~ John 15:9-11

Women ALIVE in Christ!   Women Alive 2012!

 “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   And now these three remain:  faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, 13 

Paul’s words to the church at Corinth have been read at more weddings than likely any other Scripture passage.  While this message of love is paramount for every marriage relationship, it is a message for all of us to live everyday in all our relationships.  In the workplace, where there may be a colleague or a client who gets under your skin; in traffic, when someone cuts you off or pulled out when you had the right of way; in the grocery store, when the person ahead of you has a problem with the price of an item and the manager must be called; in your home, when your children have left their dirty clothes and garbage lying on their bedroom floor again; and we could go on and on.  There are situations in all of our lives each day that can cause us much frustration and anger.  But how about turning to 1 Corinthians 13?   Think about each situation and what could be accomplished if we all love as the Lord commands us.  There have been many situations when someone who intended to do evil and cause harm was loved in such a way they could no longer hurt someone.  A little love goes a long way in winning people to the Lord.  Pray that you will be able to love, as the Lord loves us, each moment of your day. 

“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV

Praying for Canada and the World:

Pray for Canadians from coast to coast, that the reality of Jesus’ sacrifice and love will touch them personally.  (John 3:16)

Pray that Christian leaders would see God’s heart for vision, wisdom and direction.  (Jer. 33:3)

Pray that the Lord will lead the Church in Canada in finding ways to wisely and effectively respond to pressing social issues.  (1 Chr. 12:32)

“He will rule from sea to sea and from the River to the ends of the earth.”  Psalms 72:8 NIV

Praying for Women Alive 

Pray that we would understand the times and allow God to shape Women Alive to be a vital and encouraging ministry to women and teen girls in Canada.

Pray that the online ministry will be an effective vehicle of outreach and witness of hope and life in God. 

Pray that God would bring us into partnerships with parachurch organizations with mutual passion and vision and with partnering and working together, we see God’s kingdom advanced in Canada. 

Pray for Michelle as she gives leadership to Women Alive – for health and strength to face the many tasks she needs to complete.  Pray for God’s favour as she seeks financial support for the ministry from foundations and organizations. 

Pray for the upcoming events – that through all of the programs and activities God’s Faithfulness will be praised:

 “The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.”  1 Thess. 5:24

Praying  for People:

1. Pray for Brenda who is seeking an increase in the hours that she works as a part-time typist and life and business coach.  Pray for her as she completes her practicum in April. 
2. Pray for Martha’s children as they study at the Israel College of the Bible in Natanya Israel.  Pray for wisdom and strength as they study for exams and write papers. 
3. Pray for those who are seeking employment, that the Lord will lead them to the right place that will meet their physical needs and provide opportunities for them to minister for Him. 

Joy of Sharing Love Together

Joy of sharing love togeher,

Love that deepens as it grows;

Love sufficient for each other,

Yet so full it overflows,

Joy of loving Christ together,

And through him our love extend;

To all people of all nations;

o’er the earth from end to end. 

Joy of living in his favor,

Finding life through finding him;

As he frees us, he controls us,

Helps us conquer guilt and sin.

Joy of changing to his likeness,

Living, learning day by day.

Christ within us, Christ before us,

As we follow in his way. 

Joy of praising our Redeemer,

What a Saviour, he who came

Once for all to bring us pardon;

We can never be the same. 

Joy to countless millions bringing

As we show them how to pray.

Let the world around us feel it,

As we now his will obey.  

Words by Nancy Sutherland, 1972

Sung to the tune of Hymn to Joy by Beethoven (1770-1827)

I thought I was doing a good, godly, neighborly act of love, but in the meantime I destroyed my husband and family’s valuable place in my life.  I realized I had placed more significance on “doing good for others” than my family.  My bond with God is definitely the most revered and valuable relationship in my life, but after that it must be my husband and family.  Nobody wants to play second fiddle – especially not husbands. If you play second fiddle, you take a subordinate role behind someone more important. I have to make sure that the more important one is not me, or my neighbors, girlfriends, children or mother. 

 Your husband will know when he is being played as a second fiddle, and over time he will likely respond in one or two ways:

1. Get angry, or:
2. Withdraw.

Women love their girlfriends, which is a wonderful thing. But I have had women tell me how they rely on their girlfriends, rather than their husbands, to help them fill the emotional needs for conversation and fun. I am a huge advocate for girlfriends – they can help us in our relational and emotional needs in a way many men cannot. There is a “but” here.  I have also had women tell me their husbands have felt they are playing “second fiddle” to their wives’ girlfriends.  This will destroy and emasculate husbands in ways we women cannot even understand. In the book, For Women Only,  American author Shaunti Feldham reports nation wide research which reveals men are the “most fragile thing on the planet” and they need to know they are more valuable than burned ribs, girlfriends or our mothers.

Let me take us to 1 Corinthians 13:4 which says: “Love is kind.” Kindness is a beautiful action making a powerful, intentional difference in this word.  Where and who will be the focus of this kindness? If all your kind actions, time and energy are directed to people outside of your family, maybe someday you will crush your own family’s spirits and they will decide they are tired of “playing second fiddle.”

Ask God to help you discern your relationship priorities and how you will spread your kindness. Kindness does good things. Make sure those good things take place, first, in your home with your husband and children.

“Relationship.”  That suddenly becomes my keyword for the workout.  I realized the relationship between the flywheel and my body movements isn’t congruent.  As I sat up and smoothed out my technique, my wattage improved without any added effort.  In erging, the trick isn’t just to pull your brains out (that’s only half of it!), it’s to keep the flywheel moving. If it slows down too much, it takes more energy to get it spinning again, and it’s the speed of the spinning of the flywheel that increases or decreases your wattage.

As I continued to use this relationship idea through the rest of the workout, I started to apply it to rowing on the water.  How was the relationship between my blade and the water? Between my pair partner and myself? Between my coaches and myself?  I knew there had been breakdowns in all of these areas ever since my favorite coach, who’d taken me from a university athlete right to the Olympics, had left.  A lot of things just hadn’t made sense to me anymore.  Many critical relationships had become broken.  How could I fix them?

After I finished the workout, my mind continued to run on overdrive with this idea.  How many other problems in my life were because of some sort of a breakdown in relationships? 

If you take a moment to think about this in your own life, relationships in the typical sense – between people –most likely enter your mind first.  But there are so many other relationships we have that can also build us up, or break us down.  For example, relationships between:

Myself and my…

•    money
•    self-image
•    sexuality
•    body
•    mind
•    soul
•    God!

We are all born into a world that is full of broken relationships, because of sin.  Adam and Eve’s choice in the Garden of Eden caused a rift between humanity and our Creator.  Suddenly, a world created to work with a series of symbiotic relationships was in disarray.  The problem is so prevalent that only God can make these relationships right again.  Romans 5:18 says, “Therefore as the trespass of one led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all man.”

Because only God can make any of these relationships right, our relationship with Him must be made right first before we work on the others.  This is the most important relationship in our lives, and it must be guarded jealously.  Like any relationship, it requires routine effort and maintenance on our part.  Unlike any of our other relationships however, we can rely on God utterly and completely to be the constant on the other side. 

When taking stock of our lives, we cannot focus on trying to fix one broken relationship at a time, expecting to work our way up to our relationship with God at a later date.  This only comes from our own pride when we make the mistake of longing to be more presentable to God.  None of our best efforts can repair this relationship.  But the most comforting thing is this doesn’t matter to God.  At all.

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person – though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:6-8).

All relationships start healing in one place: at the foot of the cross. Don’t wait another day. Acceptance of the relationship God wants to have with you is all that’s needed to begin making every type of relationship right in your life. Then what freedom you will have!

 When it comes to the seemingly ordinary men in our lives, however, it appears we have lost the will to honor them.  Instead, we give them our skepticism, our cynicism and our sarcasm.  Why?  Often, we think this is what they deserve. 

 Scripture exhorts you to honor your father, your brothers, your husband, your sons, all authority figures, and friends. Let’s make it easy…God said, “Honor all men!”  Not because of what they do for you, but because they belong to God.

The Hebrew word in the Bible translated as “honor” is not to be taken lightly.  It means to glorify, to make honorable, to promote, with deep heartfelt intention.  Honoring men does not mean that we support inappropriate behavior.  We know we shouldn’t enable others to do wrong.  Quite simply, we honor all men because they are precious to God.

 Three ways you can restore honor to your men:

 1.  Be committed in your thought life.  Refuse to let your thoughts control you.  It may sound silly, but when I am trying to overcome judgmental habits, I wear an elastic band around my wrist.  When my mind drifts to unwholesome thoughts, I snap the band.  It breaks the pattern.  I’m quite serious.  Then, shift gears…

 2.  Let Scripture work in your heart to change you.  Meditate on Scripture verses that express God’s heart about men.  If you don’t feel love and respect for everyone that God has asked you to, be honest and repent. Tell Him that you want to want to have his heart toward the men in your life.

 3.  Take action.  Nothing makes the enemy tremble like a woman committed to living out her faith.  I love how Romans 12:10 exhorts us to outdo one another in demonstrating honor.  Don’t wait for others to honor you in tangible ways. Glorify them first. 

 Express.  Catch men doing good deeds. Then, speak words of affirmation to them, in front of others and especially in front of their children, or those they are in authority over.  Celebrate their successes. Go wild – throw a party for them!

 Empower. When they make a suggestion, rather than roll your eyes, brainstorm with them.  Be an essential part of their strategizing. With a goal to reach unity, take some of the initiative and help make their dreams happen.

 Encourage. When they struggle, show them you are there to share their burdens. Offer help with problem solving and carry some of the responsibilities.  With words and in action, let it be known that you value their lives.

 4.)  Watch what God will do!  I know, I said I would give you three ways.  Maybe the men in your life seem undeserving, but then again, God expresses honor toward you and I (check out Isaiah 43:4).  It wasn’t because we earned it! The Almighty God honors us because we are precious to Him. 

 God is up to something big in the lives of men, right now!  Your obedience gives you a front row seat to see what He is doing.  Watch and see what your God will do in your heart while He changes the lives of the men around you!

 A special note: For years, many women have led the way spiritually in their families.  At times, this has caused us to morally exalt ourselves.  It’s time we (women) stop trying to be the moral compass for our men and let God do His job.  We have an integral role in how that plays out, by honoring our men.

Restore honor to your men and you honor the God who honors you.  It’s that simple!

 God will bless you with His peace and joy, my friend.

I was a teenager the summer I met Dave.  I was drawn to him immediately.  He was confident, fun, good-looking and loved God.  And even though he seemed a bit immature, I overlooked his faults and fell in love.

He told me he didn’t want to kiss me until I was ready, which I thought was so sweet. 

“How will you know when I’m ready?” I asked one afternoon as we basked in the sun, down by the lake.

“We’ll have a code word,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Okay.  What’s the word going to be?  We have to make sure it’s something specific so I don’t accidentally say it before I’m ready.”

“How about ‘slalom skiing’?”  Dave was a sports addict so I wasn’t surprised by his suggestion. 

Knowing I would never choose to bring slalom skiing up on my own, I agreed.

A few weeks later as we sat watching the sunset, I decided I was ready.  So as casually as possible I said, “This is perfect.  But you know what would make it even better?  If there was a slalom ski course, right out there on the lake.”  I looked over at him nervously and my heart pounded with anticipation.

Dave looked over at me and without skipping a beat replied, “Ya!  That’d be awesome.  And a super nice ski boat too!  Heather you’re the coolest girl ever to think of skiing right now.”

He’d forgotten!  In a matter of three weeks he’d completely forgotten all about our code word.  After seeing the shocked look on my face, he asked what was wrong and I reminded him about our code word.  He looked equally shocked and apologized, but it was too late.  The sun had set and the moment was gone.  Later than night Dave took me to a bridge and helped me climb up the supports, ending up 30 feet over the lake.   And with the moon reflecting off the water, I had my first kiss. 

It’s not hard to see how I fell so hard for Dave.  He was romantic and loved to surprise me with tickets to musicals – even though he hated them, fires in the bush in the middle of winter or cuddling in a hammock on our own private island.  The first time he said “I love you,” I was sure he was the man I was going to marry. 

But a year and a half later, our relationship came to a screeching halt.  Dave decided to move to the mountains to pursue his passion for skiing and I went to visit him for a week.  I drove 16 hours to see him and when I arrived it snowed 100 cm.  Now that wouldn’t mean much to the average guy, but to Dave it was like a dream come true.  And instead of skiing with me, he ditched me for the fresh powder and said he’d see me when the chair lift closed.

When I arrived home a week later, he called and told me it was over.

My heart was crushed.  I loved him and thought he loved me too.  But when I asked why he didn’t love me anymore, he said he’d only ever meant it “as a friend.”

 The weeks and months following that phone call were some of the most difficult in my life.  I felt like my life had no purpose anymore and God had abandoned me.  I was hopeless, depressed and unable to let go of all Dave and I had shared.  But I did survive it and you can too.  Here are three things that helped heal my broken heart.

1. Feel the Pain:  It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid – the quicker the better.  It hurts a lot right away, but is less painful in the long run.  Those first few weeks after the break up I cried almost every hour.  I allowed myself to really feel the pain of having my heart broken by the one I loved.  And because I did, I was able to get over it faster.  Don’t bottle all your emotions up.  Let them out so you can move forward and not live in the hurt forever.
2. Bring it to God:  When we go through heartbreak, it feels like no one understands the depth of our pain.  But God does.  And He wants to be the one to help you through it.  Isaiah 61:1 says: “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives.”  God wants to put the broken pieces of your heart back together.  Bring your pain to Him.  Tell Him how you feel and allow Him to give you His peace that passes all understanding.  If anyone knows heart break, it’s God.  Think of how He feels every time one of His children sins against Him.
3. Be set Free:  The thing that caused me to stay in the relationship with Dave and to feel so hopeless when it was over, was my insecurity.  I was afraid to be alone.  I didn’t think anyone else would ever love me if he couldn’t.  That insecurity held me captive, like a prisoner in a jail cell.  When I was really able to let go of my heartbreak was when God set me free from my insecurity.  Ask God to show you why you’re hurting and allow Him to set you free from it.  Whether it’s fear of being alone, or guilt from choices you made, God wants to release you from it.  “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

I hope you never have to go through heartbreak like I did.  It took me many years to really heal from it, and even now I think about the past and the mistakes I made.  But God is so faithful and He wants to help you heal.  Allow yourself to feel the pain, bring it to God and be set free from it.  If you do, not only will He heal you, but He’ll also use everything Satan meant for evil, for your good!  That is the goodness and grace of God.

Boy, was I in for a Big Surprise.

The conference facilitators were Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs. I had seen their video clips and had already picked up on Emerson’s humor as a speaker. I was pretty sure Emerson would disarm us with laughter, and then he’d swoop in for the kill – arrows straight to the heart. Oh, I wasn’t worried about my heart. I was woman. Hear me roar.

I was relieved when I learned beforehand that there would be no nose-to-nose, knee-to-knee encounter times for spouses. Somehow, I wasn’t in the mood for that much intensity. Chances are, I thought, my husband will be the one who will have to make all the adjustments anyway. I was simply going along for the ride, expecting to be validated by an expert.

Erelong I would discover that: “Pride goeth before a marriage conference!” 

We gathered on Friday night with hundreds of other couples and took our seats amid the noisy throng. As expected, Emerson broke the ice with funny stories and had us hooting with laughter with his dramatic skill at playing both roles in a marital spat. But before long I was riveted to my seat as he talked about the way our culture had unashamedly vilified men over the past 30 years. In an attempt to raise awareness and create gender equality, popular culture had normalized male bashing and tried to feminize men, Emerson said. He went on to explain that God had created men and women equal but different and it was that “different-ness” that provided the romantic spark as well as fostered the misunderstandings. He simplified it by saying that while women look through rose-colored lenses, men see things through blue-colored glasses. That’s why we see exactly the same things “in a different light.”

The more Emerson talked, the lower I sank in my seat and the taller my husband sat. But it wasn’t just shame or guilt that was hitting me; I was amazed at my naivety. I was having a spiritual encounter with Truth; you know the feeling – heart surgery without anesthetic.

I watched my husband and dozens of other men fight back tears when Emerson talked about a man’s primal need for respect in a culture that is saturated with romantic notions of love and sadly lacking in respect. I learned that a man gladly serves and dies for country and family from a sense of honor. That is his way of showing love. Too often, he isn’t thanked or even recognized.

I learned things my parents and grandparents grew up knowing, that when a man works hard and provides for his family, he is serving them in love and this service is worthy of respect. Because my husband has always been quick to say, “I love you” and is very affectionate, I didn’t realize that while my need for love was constantly being met, his need for verbal respect was seriously underfed.

 The one who needed to change was me, not my spouse. I had to start saying the things I was thinking and stop taking his contribution for granted.

 There was a decidedly different feeling in the air when the crowd was dismissed that night. Gone was the she-dragged-me-here look some of the men had arrived with three hours earlier. They could hardly wait to come back the next morning and hear more.

My husband was pumped! He yacked my ear off all the way home in the car. Whereas I was so raw with emotion I barely had the stamina to whisper, “Can you ever forgive me for not voicing my respect and appreciation more often for who you are and all you do?”

The sight that awoke me next morning was my husband standing by the bed with breakfast on a tray. Boy, did I respect that! 

The first service went as anticipated, and as we observed the arriving congregants for the second service, we expected more of the same. Confidence and perhaps a tinge of self-sufficiency had just begun to settle in with our worship team, when a commotion at the back of the church captured our attention. As we looked out we soon discovered the source.  Ushers were frantically clearing the aisles, making room for a young man in a wheelchair to be positioned at the very front of the church.   He wore a smile that was as painfully twisted as his body.  Some form of palsy was clearly evident and, although he could not control his body’s twitching, his excitement as he observed our visiting worship band was obvious.

Immediately, I began a mental review of the song lineup.  As band manager, I tended to fret “the small stuff” a little (OK, a lot!) more than the others.  I was suddenly concerned about being “inclusive” and “politically correct” in our selection and delivery of songs.  “How often,” I chided myself, “do we ask audience members to stand, raise their hands or greet a neighbor, not fully sensitive to the physical or emotional limitations that may prevent them from following these directives?”   I became consumed with worry.

 Thankfully, our worship leader came from a very different school of thought.  In his mind, political correctness needed to fly out the window in the face of our kingdom-building mandate.   He was confident that having prayed with sincerity for the Spirit to guide the song selection, we should not deviate from what we had prepared.

 As it turned out, he was right.  I watched with fascination and a deep sense of humility as this palsied brother attempted to sing and raise his hand and even greet his neighbors – engage in all the things that were part and parcel of an active worship experience. As we belted out, “I am free to run, I am free to dance, I am free to live for You, I am free,” this brother became extremely animated, resulting in several convulsions. I nearly lost my composure.  In that moment, I understood the real gift of worship and how worshiping in spirit and in truth moves us past our limitations, past our inhibitions, past our differences and ultimately, past our selves into place where we are truly free.

I learned a significant lesson that day.  Whenever we approach worship, we need to be constantly prayerful that God’s anointing will touch and move in whatever way He sees fit. True worship plants a seed of freedom that God then fertilizes in our hearts.   Through his amazing example of worship, my physically challenged brother revealed my spiritually challenged attitude in an unforgettable way.

 Now might be a good a time to ask God about what you may need to change in the way you approach private or congregational worship. Are there some limitations that you are imposing on yourself – or those around you – that are based on fear rather than faith; self-reliance rather than trust; pride rather than submission?   Ask God to uncover the worship blockers in you.  In this new year, partner with Him to take your worship to a brand new, liberated level – God is a spirit and He longs to see you worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

Cleanliness, order and food are important, but there are other issues of monumental importance.

Is our home a place where our guests will feel God’s peace? Will I be used as an instrument of God’s love today? Will I emulate compassion and grace? Will I give a listening ear? When my guests speak will I hear beyond their words to listen to the concerns of their hearts?

Opening our homes to guests provides us with a unique opportunity to bring blessing. We have the power and control over the home to make everything just right. While removing all the dust bunnies is a great ideal, creating an atmosphere of peace and loving kindness is more likely to reach our guests’ hearts.

I’ve been to homes where everything was in its perfect place, but I didn’t feel welcomed at all. I felt like I had been put in some competition, as though what I wore and everything I said was being scrutinized. I was soon anxious to leave!

But I’ve been to other homes, some perfectly clean, some not so much, where I was warmly greeted and felt honoured from the first moment. The host had put everything on hold to make sure I felt comfortable and had a wonderful time.

A good friend of mine has the habit of watching for a moment to take me aside to encourage and build me up every time I visit her home. Many times, these moments have come in the midst of a house full of people, of kids running around or of food and drinks being served. Whereas most hosts would have their minds on making sure everything is just so, and their hands busy at work, my friend has learned to take advantage of moments to bless others, regardless of when those moments show up.

I’m not sure she is even aware of her habit, but I sure am! I look forward to it every time I visit her. I know that no matter what the occasion (and it’s often a business meeting or large gathering), I will be built up and leave feeling encouraged with words that give me much to think about in the following days.

How great when we open up not just our homes, but our hearts, too!