Women Alive

“Heidi, I think you need to confront your friend and let her know how much she hurt you.  I believe you risk harbouring resentment in your heart if you don’t deal with this.” Ouch, that hurt, but I knew my friend MoJo, who was sitting beside me on a bus en route to a Conference, was bravely speaking truth into my life. She was right! But what gave her the privilege to speak to me like that? I gave her that entitlement several years ago when she became one of my “Sacred Sock Sweeties”, one of my accountability partners.

For the last several years I have developed a deep accountability friendship with two beautiful women. It started as a bible study as we chose to study A.T. Tozer’s book called The Pursuit of God. This challenging book spurred us on to become accountable and authentic before God and each other. One day while I was shopping I spied some zany, colourful, fuzzy socks and I knew they would put a smile on my girl’s faces.   They were delighted with their gift, and now each time we meet, we put on our fuzzy socks as we eat, laugh, share stories do our study and then pray. We started calling ourselves the Sacred Socks Sweeties. The evenings we spend in our fuzzy socks continue to change my life as we become spiritually naked and not ashamed to share our dreams, fears, guilt and struggles.  When we expose the innermost parts of our soul with one another, and lay them at the cross of Jesus through prayer, there is a soul connection that unites hearts through the beauty and power of the Holy Spirit like nothing else on this earth. We all need someone to walk with us, believe in us, accept us and listen to us.

We are created to do life with one another.

One week before I started writing this article, I lingered around a fire pit in a back yard in southern Alberta, watching smouldering marshmallows. I could hardly wait to squeeze them between two pieces of milk chocolate and graham wafers to create my all time favorite; the ultimate, classic nummy smore. Between dodging the smoke, sticky fingers and laughter I felt a sense of belonging amongst this community of friends. I was engaged in an earnest and stimulating conversation with a young man who is passionate and honest about his relationship with God. Between bites of sticky marshmallows we asked ourselves this question: “With all the books, conferences, retreats, blogs and information in our society these days, why are we not growing stronger spiritually and why are so many relationships breaking down?”  We entered into fiery, animated discussion and came up with one solution. Accountability.

With the frenetic, social media, disconnected lives we are pursuing these days, we don’t take the time to look into each other’s eyes, to unleash honesty, pain and truth. We seem to be living segregated lives, pursing our selfishly designed destinies and not being accountable for any of our actions. But we were not created to life in isolation; we were created to live life with one another.

Jesus modeled for us the “one another” principles.

Through accountability with one another, we can:

1. Be healed-“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).
2. b.     Learn to accept one another-“Therefore accept one another just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God” (Romans 15:7).
3. c.      Help one another to let go of jealousy-“Let us not become conceited, or irritate one another, or be jealous of one another” (Galatians 5:26).
4. d.     Comfort each other-“Therefore comfort one another with these words” (1 Thess. 4:18).
5. Stimulate each other-“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24).
6. f.       Forgive one another-“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

My friend MoJo kept my feet to the fire and three weeks later bluntly asked: “Did you confront your friend about the hurtful issue?  I was glad that I was able to respond with, “Yes, MoJo,  did.”

Even though it had not gone as well as I hoped, I was held accountable by one of my “Sacred Sock Sweeties” to deal with the pain in my heart, and to follow through on the biggest sacrifice that Jesus modeled for us; forgiveness.  I know that by being accountable to someone for my actions, as much as it hurts sometimes; I am becoming more like Christ and living the abundant life.